I have the Who, I have the What
Now really all I need i the why.
The wife wanted the why, and for the life of me, I don’t know why.
I could have told her the truth, but that would have hurt and well, I think I wouldn’t have gotten paid, but it would be the most satisfying conversation ever.
Well dear, you are the following, over bearing, dominating, sexless, and above all, you are ugly!
Well something like that, you see, I have not really endeavored to tell you about my client, and for good reason, but then since all this is over and was, in the long run, settled out of court, I think common sense made an appearence, that or the judge pissed himself during the second day and decided to give the lawyers a blast they would never forget, where was I, oh yes, its over, and this is just what I can recall for the story books.
Lets step back, you see, well, its sort of hard to describe because, well, its, I honestly don’t know how to say it.
Her goes, she looks like a fucking man! She is a woman, she isn’t a tranny, she isn’t a switch she isn’t anything of the colorful type, she just looks like a man, she looks like someone who could sit on the docks, help trawler land its catch and then go take on the longshoremen in arm wrestling all while drinking a bottle of Jack.
Now, that is a picture, that is something you’ll never see in your lifetime, and believe me you are better off for it, BUT, and I mean BUT, there was a quality, there was something, she had the ability to make you see past all that, or not to see it, she was a yuppie, she was beautiful if in all but looks.
Now, he, well, he on the other hand was, well, a specimen, something that even men looked and got wet, the sort of man for whom you would want as a cellmate if you went to jail, you could turn for him, hell if you had to share a room with him you’d enjoy it, but, one thing was missing, that was the most important thing, and that was something that was not replaceable, or well had never been there in the first place.
Personally I give the guy his Due, because he must have known he was going to get caught, most men do, and well, when you are in the family home, and the “kids” are there, you sort of figure….
That is who I was working for, and this poor man was never going to live down what he had ordered, but then again he was because as luck would have it, it was a beautiful day.