Friday and Dawn

There are certain things one repeats over and over again and breaking the cycle is the hardest thing to do, and this is where I am at the moment, I have realized that I am stuck in the same abusive cycle that I have have been in for such a long time.

I allow people to order me around and even when I know it is the wrong things to do, I just accept that is easier just go along than actually stand up and say know.

I have finally had a break through, I have had enough, I have been wasting my time away, by just chasing things that I know will not happen and will never happen, but that is the one problem, no matter how much I want certain things, I have to accept that I will never get them, and if I attempt to get them, then people will stand in my way and constantly throw abuse at me.

Life continues like it starts, if you ave the odd child because you are slightly different you will always be the one picked on, you will always be the one that is used because that is how it started, and if you have a parent who is abusive, and one who is passive and just takes that abuse then you just settle until it ends your life, like my father did.

Settling in the long run cost my father happiness and his life.

In the long run it will cost me mine too.